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By Artie Lange

Veteran comic Artie Lange turns an unflinching eye and his signature wit on his perilous descent into drug dependancy, life-threatening melancholy, and finally, his restoration, within the follow-up to his hilariously uncooked debut, the number one New York Times bestseller Too fats to Fish.

At a excessive element in his occupation, Artie Lange performed a sold-out exhibit in Carnegie corridor and absolutely killed—yet in the course of his status ovation, all he may possibly examine have been the 2 baggage of heroin in his pocket. in the course of a deep, self-destructive melancholy, hooked on heroin and pharmaceuticals, he lashed out at all people round him—from his fellow forged contributors on The Howard Stern Show, to megastar visitors, to his longtime neighbors, or even his personal family.

By turns darkish and annoying, hilarious and heartbreaking, and continually drop-dead sincere, the New York Times bestseller Crash and Burn lifts the curtain on Lange’s risky slide. For the 1st time, Artie finds all: the whole fact at the back of his now mythical Stern express meltdown, his suicide try (which he relates in terrifying detail), dazzling stints in rehab, and painful relapses. With the assistance and aid of family and friends, Artie claws his long ago, turning his existence and occupation round. And regardless of his slip-ups, backslides, and everlasting losses, Artie forges on.

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In fact, that intended not anything to me while i used to be retching and reeling from opiate withdrawal. At that time he used to be only a stick determine that wouldn’t get me medicines. the very first thing these men did was once convey drug-sniffing canine over to my residence in Hoboken and down the shore in crimson financial institution and people mutts actually came upon something that had ever had medicines even subsequent to it. i used to be truly in awe of them, which numbed me to the truth that each stash I had was once being came upon and trashed earlier than my eyes. I suggest, heavily, those canine have been discovering rolled-up debts in bathrobes that I hadn’t worn in months, sniffing out the stench of crusted heroin that at that second i wished to grab out in their mouths only for being so fucking reliable at their jobs. those fucking canine chanced on my outdated stash spot in my Hoboken residence, or even even though it was once empty and were for a couple of weeks, they freaked out as though it have been Scarface’s table. That was once the instant i actually learned that I’d been discovered and that this most up-to-date around of bullshit used to be over. That was once whilst I knew that I needed to try out; I needed to positioned myself within the fingers of those men not less than. I needed to sweat this shit out and notice if there has been something left of me. This were decades coming. ———— I’d spent the former part 12 months hiding all of this the easiest i'll, via hiring humans, firing humans, simply padding my lifestyles from any type of precise imaginative and prescient. I rehired my previous assistant Melissa (who is a truly candy, very popular former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader) simply because she used to be the one assistant who may possibly care for me with no wasting her brain. through early spring, she used to be my 7th PA in twelve months—lucky quantity seven. here's how randomly i made up my mind who might be operating for and with me. Tim Sullivan, whom I’d met behind the scenes at a Springsteen live performance simply because he used to be attached to that camp, turned my new street supervisor, beginning with a fund-raiser I did at Caroline’s, simply because i wished him to. I paid Tim ten grand for taking good care of these gigs, now not since it was once truly a great deal paintings in any respect, yet simply because i needed him to be on board “Team Artie. ” I even made Teddy get Tim on top of things at a gig in Boca Raton prior to I formally fired Teddy. i actually didn’t care a lot approximately etiquette, and my company administration was once past remedial. I hadn’t forgotten the plan that Howard’s supervisor Don had laid out for me—less highway time and less gigs for extra money—that I’d agreed to begin within the new yr (meaning the yr we have been in, that used to be now approximately part gone). I did are looking to do this, yet like every little thing else that was once reliable for me I saved placing it off simply because i used to be overtaken with greed and drug lust. i made a decision i wished to place that plan on carry till the beginning of 2010, simply because I confident myself that sooner than i may swap something in my specialist lifestyles and threat a possible reduce in my source of revenue I needed to financial institution as a lot cash as attainable. I had mortgages, I had spent much on my shore residence, and that i used to be spending much more on medicines and playing. The deeper I bought into my booze and drug challenge the extra I loved gambling—on soccer, basketball, baseball, boxing, you identify it.

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